Saturday, January 16, 2010

If you had a choice, which gender would you choose?

Looking at a friend’s 20 week pregnancy scan earlier this week, I am asked to determine the gender of the baby.  There is no obvious bits poking out but then again I can’t be sure.


Like most people my friend has paid little attention to the ‘do not open’ seal to get the jump on her doctor in drawing an uncertain conclusion as to the said fate of her babys future. “I hope it’s not a girl” my friend says, “girls are so vulnerable, they have so much shit to deal with”.  Playing devils advocate, I counter saying that boys have shit to deal with too and that theirs is just different shit. But as the hollow words roll unconvincing out of my mouth, I have already realised that I cannot continue to defend my genders short straw. 


Concluding that it is most likely a girl, my friend’s next words are something about buying a shotgun and I say nothing to discourage this seemingly sensible course of action.  Setting aside the usual whiny ‘girls have to deal with periods, child birth and menopause’ arguments, I am rattled more disturbingly at the moment by a girlfriends Christmas eve encounter with rohypnol and 3 men.


I’d like to believe that in the battle of the sexes, there is an even playing field. But the truth is men always have, and always will hold the balance of power if they choose…. A lesson I learned many moons ago, when I was young, naïve, drunk and out of energy trying to decline the advances of a young man I had innocently lead on earlier that night. Gender superiority comes right back to those poky outy bits and their pre-programmed need to seek and conquer the valleys of venus. I realised, that night, that I had two choices; I could give into what he wanted or I could say no and he would take it from me anyway. With everyone else passed out of the game, my hand would never beat his. I choose the path of least resistance.


This is the way of the world we live in. A thought some men I know give little consideration to. Two weeks after Christmas I left my husband at home and headed to the beach for a family holiday. While at the pub one night with my brother and his friends, I handed my drink to my brother to visit the ladies. I returned to receive my drink back from his mate accompanied by an innocent rohypnol joke. We all laughed. I stopped drinking.   


If I had to make the choice, for me it would be clear however, for the survival of our species, it’s probably best we don’t have a gender choice. 


2 comments:

  1. This is a tough one. Having raised a boy, without his Dad, I know that life and particularly puberty has it's nasty surprises for the boys that we as young women go through our own trials don't necessarily see.

    However, I do agree with you that women have rather more to contend with throughout life, which has nothing to do with hormones. I suppose it's up to the parents of today's teens, and tomorrow's teens, to try to raise our boys to value women, and our girls to value themselves.

    Incidentally, had I been told I had a choice, I would have chosen to have a girl. Purely because I thought it would be easier to raise a girl without her Dad than a boy. I no longer necessarily hold the same view, each gender comes with it's own challenges.

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  2. Well put Mayhem. I don't doubt boys go through their own trials. I may be a tad oversensitive at the moment!

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