The Meaning of Wife

The place you house your soul

2011-01-23T15:06:00.008+10:00

I woke in the dim hours of this morning thinking I wasn’t in my own bed. I felt scared and sick for an instant until I realised I was home. Many of Queensland’s population aren’t though. Last night I attended the dual fortieth birthday party of a couple who last week lost their house to the flood. They were ‘technically’ not covered by flood insurance and are facing starting over again at

Where to now captain?

2011-01-17T11:49:00.003+10:00

Two-thousand and ten was a great year. I dropped back to 4 work days a week. I celebrated both parent’s sixtieths, my husband’s grandmothers ninetieth, my brother’s and one of my best friend’s thirtieths, two weddings and two engagements. We also held a number of weekend long festivities at LantanaLand and extend our family by three gorgeous cows and, a new love in my life, Tally-dog.

The Anniversary Effect

2010-10-27T07:53:00.001+10:00

In cancer research we call it the anniversary effect and often avoid asking people to complete a follow-up interview exactly a year after ‘the thing’ we recruited them for in the first place. We want to know how they feel about ‘the thing’ but around the year mark people’s perceptions become over-sensitised and are not necessarily how they feel on a day-to-day basis. Time has a curious

Walk the Line

2010-10-11T08:59:00.005+10:00

A friend recently asked me how many advantages there were to being in a relationship, to which I replied “About a thousand. How many advantages are there to being single?” He replied with an equally confident hand “About a thousand”. It got me thinking that if the advantages stack up evenly it must be the disadvantages that hold us back from choosing the alternative option. The main

Hormone Hazard

2010-07-16T11:29:00.010+10:00

I used to think I was a level headed girl; not highly strung or highly maintained. But when my husband recently said to me “you don’t seem like you’re getting your period” I realised ‘level’ had left the building right about the time The Pill was purged from my body. For the past 15 years (excluding one short break) I had been riding a uniform wave of estrogen and progesterone. That is until 8

Heart Beats Head When Animals Are Involved

2010-07-06T21:03:00.001+10:00

My husband recently gave me a dog for my birthday. Well when I say gave, he presented me with the animal and allowed my heart to do the rest. Giving animal is never a good idea, but presenting a person with something furry and adorable and letting them accept it can be the best gift in the world. I had ruled out getting a dog until I met Tally. Growing up with a border collie cross golden

Mind the Gap: The forgotten tale of 19 friends on a houseboat.

2010-06-19T20:50:00.021+10:00

To the best of my knowledge I have never experienced any memory loss! Maybe I’ve forgotten that I’ve forgotten, but if this were the case there would be gaps and someone reciting last nights dramas that apparently occurred. Maybe I’m just like one of those people who can’t be hypnotised; the mind never suspends far enough for reality to be lost. It’s a shame really, but on the other

Mad May

2010-05-14T19:00:00.011+10:00

May is a mad month. The line-up includes a long-time friend’s hens weekend, my husband’s nan’s 90th birthday party, my brother’s 30th, one of my closest friend’s 30th, a wedding and visitors every other day. Each event involves travel and promises or has already delivered a lot of wholesome fun. Added to this mix the LantanaLand menagerie has adopted yet more critters. As I watch the last

Wake-Up Call

2010-04-23T13:26:00.004+10:00

I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open. Nevertheless I get out of bed and take hold of the banister that will spiral my delivery down stairs. Lifting my feet, I begin the fast sliding decent that feels like my morning routine. Everything blurs and my eyes shut tight. As moments pass, it feels like I have been on this morning’s banister ride a long time, but I can’t tell if I’m still moving or if

What It’s Worth

2010-04-07T16:04:00.009+10:00

She calls me ‘the new wave’. To her, I signal a changing of the guards. I take up my post enthusiastically, ready to serve with honour, but I am different from my successors. I choose a life-work balance, not a work-life balance. She has inspired this difference in me because she knows what it’s worth. Unlike others, she lives each day fighting the internal battle of neofibromatosis. She rides

A 'Good' Guzzle

2010-03-07T21:39:00.006+10:00

I spent the week analysing alcohol consumption data, which got me thinking about how much I enjoy a good guzzle. Let’s face it, I come from a long line of big drinkers who appreciate a good old watering. However, as the husband and I are trying for a baby, I have been trying to curb my drinking behaviour to what the experts would consider a more acceptable level, so that my body and mind don’t go

Electronic Etiquette

2010-02-20T11:31:00.008+10:00

When you get into an elevator you are most likely to keep your eyes front, it’s the social norm, it’s what we know to be acceptable without ever being told. People who break this norm will inexplicitly make others feel a tad uncomfortable. With the explosion of technology and communication expanding to text messages, skype, facebook, instant messages, blogs and twitter, a whole new set of

Life’s a Beach

2010-02-06T17:11:00.006+10:00

I used to do a yoga class that always finished with a guided meditation. Essentially this is a visualisation exercise, similar to a dream but where your drifting mind is semiconsciously guided to places or objects by attaching an emotion or purpose to it. Although guided, there is still a great deal of freedom for your mind to fill in the details. One such meditation I really liked was the

If you had a choice, which gender would you choose?

2010-01-16T15:33:00.006+10:00

Looking at a friend’s 20 week pregnancy scan earlier this week, I am asked to determine the gender of the baby. There is no obvious bits poking out but then again I can’t be sure. Like most people my friend has paid little attention to the ‘do not open’ seal to get the jump on her doctor in drawing an uncertain conclusion as to the said fate of her babys future. “I hope it’s not a girl”

The Copenhagen Challenge

2009-12-09T15:43:00.007+10:00

If the carbon cops came a knocking at my front door, I would invite them in for a cup of tea and no doubt they would be pleased with my green façade. If however they decided to stay for a week they would soon realise my carbon trading was far from neutral and lock me up in disgust. Like many other people, we have changed over to the energy saving light and water fixtures and as new appliances

Workafrolic; the Key to Success, or Not?

2009-11-21T13:03:00.004+10:00

I attended a medical conference this week and one of the keynotes thought it would be inspiring to consider the 9 key ingredients to ‘success’. Ingredient #3, be a ‘workafrolic’; you can’t be serious, this isn’t Greys Anatomy. I mean I get that one should love what they do but do these bozos think that the two little letters fr in front of olic are going to mask the

Belly Bonanza

2009-11-15T21:08:00.002+10:00

The ‘ugly lights’ have been turned on and Gen-X is being called for ‘last DINKs’! Being a seventy-eighter, on the cusp of generations, I figure my kind potentially have a few Dual Income No Kid years left in us, if we choose, but passing the big 30 has certainly kick started our production factories. I currently have five good friends who are sporting a beautiful bulging belly and a

Old is Gold

2009-11-01T12:56:00.016+10:00

Much to my mother-in-laws concern, my husband and I decided to delay having unprotected sex until after this years planned trips to Fraser Island and New Zealand. I was not keen to deal with potential morning sickness in a remote location with no amenities or on all day/night commutes in captive compartments. She said "I would get through it" and may be I would have, but

Into Middle Earth

2009-10-22T19:59:00.002+10:00

In a land of myth, and in a time of magic…. No wait, that’s the opening titles of Merlin not Lord of the Rings. Hmmm I probably shouldn’t admit to knowing that! Anyhow it seems a fitting opening as I am currently in the heartland of Middle Earth psyching up for a good friends wedding. I am surrounded by glorious snow capped mountains and icy cold lakes. My husband is out

Relating or Relying or Relaying

2009-10-14T08:32:00.002+10:00

My husband made it through to last weeks casting round of MasterChef. I completed the initial thousand-page application on his behalf and was taken aback for a moment when one of the questions asked whether he would be able to spend up to 4 months away from work and family. Though I REALLY didn’t like the idea of being separated from my husband for such a long time, I ticked

A Dingo Ate My Undies!

2009-10-02T22:30:00.006+10:00

“This is Bernardo the Prado calling all units. Come in all units. Over.” “The Wheels of Steel is reading you loud and clear Bernardo. Over.” “Workhorse Frank is also receiving you loud and clear. Come back.” “Bernardo to all units: ETD is 2 minutes. Standby.” “Copy that Bernardo and standing by.” “Roger that Bernardo. Over.” With walkie talkies in check we began our adventure over the

Looking Good; The 6th Vital Sign.

2009-09-19T15:03:00.012+10:00

I’m not the girliest of girls. I hardly ever wear make-up. I rarely go shopping. I can count the pairs of shoes I own on two hands and the number of professional facials, pedicures and manicures I’ve had combined on one hand. But last weekend I spent a couple of hundred dollars and 3 ½ hours in a hair salon. It had been a weighty couple of weeks

Whatever Will Be Will Be; C'est La Vie

2009-09-09T20:40:00.010+10:00

Above is a gentle title that reflects the up-swing of my mood today following last Thursday’s down-swing. Since Thursday a post has been kicking around in my head although the title until now was to be ‘FUCK YOU VERY MUCH’. However, I couldn’t bring myself to exacerbate such anger with written words, so I let time and the goodness of my surrounding people, wash away my

All the Freaky People Make the Beauty of the World

2009-09-02T14:04:00.004+10:00

I saw Michael Franti at Byron Bay Blues Festival in 2003. His aura projected like a bubble over me and my fellow onlookers, our eyes glazed clear with his inner white light. He asked us to turn to our neighbour and hug them because all the freaky people make the beauty of the world. In our trance we believed him and the large group surrounding me embraced in his love and

There is No Pedestal Here. Here There is No Pedestal.

2009-08-22T16:08:00.005+10:00

My husband is the embodiment of George Clooney’s line in Ocean’s Eleven, ‘I know a guy’. Now with blogging and Twitter, he is able to tap into a loose-knit community of people in high and interesting places. This week he conversed with those in parliament and was quoted in The Sydney Morning Herald about the state of the nations leadership. Like a moth, he is and always

Honesty is Not a Lonely Word

2009-08-15T21:52:00.005+10:00

In Australia 1 in 4 people experience clinical anxiety at some stage of their lives and 1 in 5 experience depression. 1 in 6 Australian women giving birth experience postnatal depression and 1 in 5 have experienced childhood sexual abuse. Over their lifetime, 1 in 3 Australian women experience physical violence and almost 1 in 5 experience sexual violence. Before the age of

Continuing the Cycle of Creation

2009-08-12T12:14:00.001+10:00

They created me; the construct of my core traits is an amalgamation of theirs. Then I was overlayed by the developmental environments they provided for me. I was nothing without them and for years I was solely feed from them. I have taken on board their greatest strengths but they are only human and I was not immune to their troubles. I am told my mother thought her life

Livin’ His Dream

2009-08-08T17:10:00.001+10:00

My husband is an optimist, a visionary, a dreamer. I on the other hand, am a realist, someone who takes comfort in the small and justifiable details of the now. Although, my husband denies my self-classification, believing only in two types of people; those who are positive and those who are pessimistic. You see, to an optimist, anyone who is not on

Sperm is like a Bain-Marie

2009-08-02T12:42:00.001+10:00

Sperm is like a bain-marie, the more it sits around the crustier it gets, or so a mate told me at the pub on Friday night. I’m not sure if there is any truth to these words of wisdom or whether this is just what men tell women to validate frequent sex. But one thing’s for certain, once the honeymoon has past, men are generally up for it more often than

The Loyalty Equation: A Work in Progress

2009-07-29T18:33:00.002+10:00

Some friends and I have been planning at trip to a remote island this coming September. We have several established facebook threads pinging with constant banter about the upcoming event. We are a historic crew who have together enjoyed many island expeditions over the years in the pursuit of fish and naked shenanigans. So I was surprised yesterday to receive an email thread

What Goes Up Must Come Down

2009-07-26T20:30:00.001+10:00

I was recently walking along the foreshore with a good friend discussing relationships. We agreed that those couples who say they have never been through a rough patch have either not been together long or are lying. What goes up must come down.A year into my marriage a close friend of mine was killed; taken from his life at just 23 years. It was my first personal confrontation with death. Time

The Announcement

2009-07-25T21:44:00.001+10:00

Tick Tock Tick Tock. They say when you pass the age of 30 your clock starts ticking. Mine is a pleasant distal tick, a reminder of my wifely purpose, but one that is neither loud nor clear. I want to encourage it, for me and for my husband whose hearing is more acute than mine. In the effort to do so, we spent a morning touring our local hospital’s birthing facilities. Could

In the Beginning

2009-07-22T19:43:00.001+10:00

Many things define us. Being a wife is one of the pillars of my definition. I became ‘The Wife’ at 23 years young and have nurtured this role for 8 years thus far. This is unusual in my generation, against the odds, but this infrequency did not invade my mind as I entered into the institution. It felt nothing but right. I was filled with excitement about the ritual, about

Lady Libido

2009-07-22T08:04:00.001+10:00

I awoke Friday morning warm and gushing. A smile washed over my face as I recognised the return of lady libido. She, like a drug, is somewhat difficult to obtain at times but once within, yields a titillating high worth waiting for; one that I try to strengthen and prolong with all that is available to me. Yet unlike a drug she does not follow the